The Emotional Process Part 2

In my last post, I spoke about the emotional process and detecting threat.

While your emotions are designed to detect threat, this doesn’t mean that an actual threat exists.

When we were living in caves, all threats were real and would kill us.  There was no ambiguity.  If it looked like a threat, it was a threat.  This type of threat is called a survival threat. Our emotions evolved to protect us from survival threats. Survival threats exist today and include being confronted by someone who wants to physically harm you, seeing a loved one whose life is at risk unless you are able to rescue them and so forth.

Problems arise because, today, most of the threats we face are psychological threats.  Psychological threats may hurt us but are not fatal or they may not be threats at all.  Threats to your ego, your values or the way you think things “should” be are psychological threats.

The emotional process involves acknowledging your feelings and the possibility that a threat actually exists, taking a deep breath before you react to both physically calm yourself down and to give you some psychological distance between you and the threat, and assessing the nature of the threat before you choose a response.

The same process occurs when you are making breakfast and you burn the toast.  Your smoke detector goes off.  Rather than call the fire department, you assess the nature of the threat the detector is warning you about, realize that there is no threat and throw the burnt toast away.  If the smoke detector went off in the middle of the night, your assessment might be very different.

When I talk about each of the primary emotions, I will tell you what the threat is and the choices you have about responding to the threat.

The Emotional Process

In one sense, you are a threat detecting “machine”.  No offense, here, as I am not saying that you are not human.

When it comes to your emotions, however, your brain is hard-wired to scan, detect, prepare you to deal with, and warn you about a possible threat that may harm you.

You might find it interesting to know that the threat detectors (primary emotions) that exist in you today have been around in humans since we lived in caves.  These threat detectors are the primary emotions I mentioned in an earlier post and helped us survive as a species.

This is how the process works.

Your senses (eyes, ears, nose, mouth and skin) are constantly scanning your surroundings.  When a threat is detected, a fast track message goes to the amygdala in your brain and to the thalamus. This message is unconscious and very fast.  The function of this message is to prepare your body to fight, run, or freeze in place.  This is the fight/flight/freeze reaction Hans Selye wrote about.  It is automatic.  If you are a gazelle on the Savannah being chased by a cheetah or a caveman with an intruder outside your cave, you want this reaction to be fast and automatic.  Your  life may depend on it.

At the same time, a slower message goes to your cerebral cortex.  This is the thinking part of your brain that has developed over time as we evolved as a species.  The cerebral cortex enables you to assess the nature of the threat and choose a response to fit the situation.

Mastering your emotions involves being aware of the emotion and learning how to respond, rather than react, to the situation.

More on this later.

Thanks for reading and I encourage you to leave a comment.

The Emotions as Tools Model

If you ask people what feelings, or emotions, are, they probably will have difficulty answering your question.  The reason for this is that, while we all have feelings, we do not receive much information or training about what feelings are, why we have them, or how to strategically use them.

To start this conversation, let me point out the words “feeling” and “emotion” are basically the same and can be used interchangeably.

That being said, the best way to think of your feelings is to view them as tools.  While you may not realize it, you are surrounded by tools. The tweezers or needle you used to remove a splinter are both tools.  Your car is a tool as are the computer you may be using to read this post or your cell phone, or your TV remote.

A tool is something that has a specific function (or multiple functions) and can be used to perform a task. The nice thing about tools is that you can learn how to use them by getting some help, reading a manual, or just using it and learning by trial and error, although this may result in wasting  a lot of time, getting hurt by misusing the tool, or getting frustrated.

While you have many emotions, there are 6 primary emotions that humans have had since we lived in caves and which helped us survive as a species.  The 6 primary emotions are: mad (anger), sad, glad (happy), fear, disgust, and surprise. With the exception of glad and surprise, all the primary emotions are primitive threat detectors and work just like your smoke detector to alert you to a perceived threat and prepare you to deal with that threat.

In my next post, I will discuss how the emotional process works.

Thanks for reading.  If you found this information helpful, please leave a comment below.

Emotions as tools

When you ask someone what they are feeling, most people will give you a very general answer such as good, okay, kinda down, or fine.  You might get a more specific answer such as happy, sad, or angry.

If, however, you ask the person to be more specific about their feelings or ask what does a specific feeling mean, you likely will get a look of confusion.  The reason for this is that most people do not understand what feelings are or why we have them.  Considering that there is very little “training” about feelings, this lack of knowledge is certainly understandable.

The downside of not understanding your feelings is that you may view all feelings as messy and intrusive, you may view some feelings like anger as bad or dangerous, or you may feel that your feelings control you.

The basic truths  are that there is a reason why you have feelings, all of your feelings serve a purpose, your feelings are tools which you can learn to master just like any other tool such as your cell phone, and you can use your feelings to improve your life and your relationships.

While I talk about all these subjects and more in my book Emotions as Tools: A Self Help Guide to Controlling Your Life not Your Feelings, I will introduce you to these truths in the next post.

Welcome

Thank you for visiting my blog ==> two important points:

I. INDEX TO ALL POSTS

There is a TON of useful information in the 100 + posts available to you.

But, finding what you want can be challenging. 

So, in order to help you to find what interests you, I have posted an INDEX to all of my posts. This is like a Table of Contents in a book. You can access this index by  clicking on the the “Index:Topic, Title, and Date” tab in the upper right hand corner of the home page.

This will take you to an updated PDF which lists all posts. When you know the date, you can go over to the “Archives” (right side of home page), click on the month you want and scroll down to the post you are seeking.

II.  THE FOCUS OF THIS BLOG

My focus in this blog is two fold. First of all, I want to educate people about their emotion, relationships and other topics and, secondly, I want to publish information that you can use to improve your life and your relationships.

But, this blog is INFORMATIONAL only!

It is not intended to, and CANNOT, diagnose or treat any specific mental illness or psychological condition.

So, if you hurt, psychologically, please get professional help.  If you get sick or your car gets “sick”, you see a doctor or a mechanic.  Hurting psychologically is no different, does not mean you are weak, and is telling you that you need some professional help or advice.   PLEASE… GET IT! Therapy works!

That’s it….Enjoy!