In my last post, I talked about how I justified stealing pocket patches as a Boy Scout by rationalizing that my actions were okay because my patches had been stolen by another Scout.
Let’s explore this idea…
A physical example:
Have you ever taken a rusty item such as a lawn chair and put a coat of paint on it without having properly prepared the chair by sanding and applying a primer?
I have.
The veneer I applied looked great but did nothing to deal with the underlying “issue” (the rust). The unresolved “issue” worked its way through the veneer and came back.
The chair looked great until the rust came back!
This is the physical equivalent of psychological rationalizing.
What happens when you rationalize your behavior?
Psychological rationalizing:
Merriam Wester defines rationalizing as:
a way of describing, interpreting, or explaining something (such as bad behavior) that makes it seem proper, more attractive, etc.
Let’s say that you are thinking of engaging in an action that you know is “wrong” in some way because..
- It violates an external “code of conduct”
- It is violates an internal “code of conduct” such as your values by being dishonest, or “wrong” for a variety of reasons
- It utilizes a “short-cut” by cutting corners, disregarding accepted practices, ignoring important information etc.
The emotion you experience as you contemplate engaging in a “wrong” act is discomfort or guilt.
You know what you are doing is “wrong” and you initially feel uncomfortable about what you are doing.
Rather than utlize the message of your discomfort/guilt as a motivator to stop what you are (or contemplating) doing, you minimize the “wrongness” by applying a “logical veneer” which appears to justify or explain your actions.
Rationalizing allows you to continue what you are doing and quiet the guilt which comes up as a reaction to your knowing what you are doing is indeed “wrong”.
It works for a while.
Until, it doesn’t!
The knowledge of the “wrongness” is like the rust on the chair. It most likely comes back and results in unwanted consequences.
In my last post, I discussed how I felt guilty about stealing pocket patches as a Boy Scout and “nullified” my guilt by noting that my patches had been stolen previously so I was justified in stealing someone else’s patches.
Let’s unpack this (rationalize vs rational lies)
A word about “rationalizing”..
While the correct spelling of the word rationalize is, indeed,…
r a t I o n a l I z e
the psychological spelling of the word is…
r a t I o n a l l I e s.
When we rationalize, we tell ourselves plausible lies to justify whatever the issue is that is eliciting discomfort. The “reasons” you give yourself are plausible because they sound logical but are actually lies because they do not really fit or justify your actions!
In my earlier example,
I noted that some of my patches had been stolen. This was true.
The lie was that I was justified in victimizing another person because I was a victim. This was not true but it sounded plausible.
And, it worked for a while to keep my discomfort/guilt away.
No “wrong doing”…No guilt.
In my last post, I laid out the emotional process.
In summary..
- step back
- take a breath
- assess (this is where rationalizing may come in)
- choose a response
The Take-away…
When you notice yourself feeling uncomfortable (guilty) about something you are about to do and you begin to justify (or rationalize) your actions, stop and reframe (redefine) the (plausible) reasons you are giving yourself to justify your actions as rational (or logical) lies.
However reasonable they may sound, or even if they are true by themselves, they are lies because they are not appropriate in your situation.
When you accept that you are lying to yourself about (rather than giving plausible reasons for) what you are thinking of doing, you validate your discomfort/guilt as a strategic tool and, possibly, avoid any future unwanted complications which will come about from the “wrong” actions you are about to engage in.
In my next post, I will address two processes which, like rationalizing, contribute to your misperceiving what is going on and the actions you take in an emotional situation: assuming and acting as-if.